What I Learned So Far

Being a mother is really the hardest job I ever had. When I was working, I could go two straight shifts and not lose my sanity, I could sit and stare at my computer screen for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and not have a backache or arm ache or any possible ache that my body could take. Now, even if I get to sleep more than 8 hours, I still feel tired after getting up at 2am to give Johan the bottle. Now after carrying Johan for only 20-30 minutes, I feel like I’m an old lady suffering from Osteoporosis (come to think of it, I might as well take supplements to protect my bones). I am drained physically but my heart is filled to the brim with love and happiness.

Nearly 8 months into this “new job” I think I’ve learned many things, most of them thru the hard way.

• Never, ever take away a biscuit, a cloth diaper, a rubber ducky from the hands of a 7-month old kid. You won’t hear the end of it. The wailing would go on until you replace that nibbled, saliva-soaked biscuit with a new one.
  
• If you’re going out, make sure to bathe the baby first before dressing up yourself. That nice dress you prepared the night before will only get drenched and wrinkled.
  
• Always, always bring that changing mat everywhere or else you’ll find yourself changing the baby’s diaper in somebody else’s arms.
  
• Do not forget to put that alcohol in the bag. You do not want your hands smelling of poop or pee just when you’re about to have lunch.
  
• No matter how stupid you may look - jump, roll your tongue, dance, roll your tongue, play peak a boo, roll your tongue – to make your baby laugh or even smile for that camera.  If it didn’t work the first time, do it again in that same order.
  
• Be quick in preparing the formula, the water for his bath, doing the bed, playing the Baby Mozart CD. In short, be as fast as the wind or you won’t hear the end of it again.
  
• Buy appropriate clothes for the baby. If he’s a newborn buy those cute onesies and rompers but when he turns seven months, it’s about time to buy him some pants and shirts or you’ll have a chubby little boy looking like he’s wearing a one piece swimsuit.
  
• Never, ever leave the newborn baby with the Daddy at the hospital. You might overhear the Dad tell the little one “Let’s go to the nurses station and look at some nurses, baby.”

I’ve got many, many more days before I resign as a mother and I can’t wait what this adorable child will teach me the next time.