Wednesday, February 1, 2012

And It's Starting to Sink In

One more day.

That's what I have left to spend with Johan before I start working full time again on Friday and the truth is I'm beginning to feel the anxiety building up - not the anxiety of meeting new people, the challenges that come with the new job, dealing with bosses - but I'm more worried about leaving Johan at home.

Frankly speaking, I've been maintaining a strong composure the last few weeks and it is only now that I really felt sad.

Sad that I won't be the one giving Johan his daily baths (except weekends during my days off).
Sad that I won't be with Johan when he's watching his favorite shows and see him laugh at the same scene during Harry the Bunny.
Sad that I won't be there when he calls out "Na, na, na" every time he wakes up from his naps.
Sad that I won't be able to kiss his chubby cheeks as much as I used to.
Sad that he might still be sleeping when I leave for work and already asleep when I come home.
Sad that I won't be able to tell him "I love you" a thousand times a day as I used to.

I know that some of you may perceive me to be overreacting but these are the "Mommy hormones" kicking in. I know Mommies, working or not, understand what I am going through.

I'm gonna miss our bonding times, baby. =(

It is hard. And I'm in a crying mess right now.


1 comment:

Jhan said...

aaawwwww.....I can so 100% relate.

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