Why I don't Need Flowers on Valentine's Day

I am the typical wife. I expect to be treated with utmost importance and I'm a hearts and flowers kind of girl (like Anastasia Steele) and I do want to receive flowers.

My husband, on the other hand, has never been the romantic type. He's more so the typical husband who takes care of the bills, the food on the table and the roof over our heads.

We've been together since 2001 and through all these years, he's never given me a single rose or any flower at that. It's not practical, he says. I used to feel bad during those times when Valentine's Day came and I was hoping that that'll be the year that I'd receive flowers from him. But, the flowers never came and I'd feel very sad, thinking maybe he doesn't love me that much for him to give me something that would truly make any girl happy.

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Today being Valentine's Day and after seeing bouquets after bouquets of gorgeously fragrant blossoms arrive at the office for the other girls, I thought long and hard - do I still feel bad that my husband still hasn't given me any?

I was surprised when I realized that my answer is NO. I don't feel sad at all. Neither do I have any resentment that my husband isn't like some guys who'd go through so much effort on Valentine's Day just to make their girlfriends or wives feel loved.

I don't need Valentine's Day to make me feel loved because I am loved. I am loved by a husband who willingly cooks because his wife sucks in the kitchen. I am loved by a husband who, even half-heartedly, gets up on a Saturday to bring us to the mall just because I am bored to death at home. I am loved by a husband who understands my moods, knows when it is time to shut up and wait until I get over all the drama. I am loved by a husband who chose to be with me and stayed beside me for twelve long years - flaws, PMS, flab and all.

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My husband may never shout it out to the world, he may never write me love letters, he may never give me flowers on Valentine's Day (or on any other day) - but I don't need any of it. Because Valentine's Day is not about how huge your bouquet is or how red your roses are. Valentine's Day is all about love. I am loved - every single day of the year. And I'd rather have that than the reddest of all roses on Valentine's Day.

On Autism, Positive Thinking and True Love

I don't know that much about Autism. I didn't have any firsthand experience with the disorder and never did I think that anybody close to me will be diagnosed with it - until now.

Mhy and I have been best of friends since college. We were inseparable, so to speak and we almost, always do everything together. We are both the eldest in our families, we both had boyfriends in college almost at the same time, we had our first drinking lesson at the same time (and yes, we both got pretty drunk), our birthdays both fall on the month of January and we both gave birth to boys in October 2010! In tagalog we are magkasanggang-dikit and magkadikit ang bituka.

Just recently, during their visit to a developmental pedia, our suspicions regarding Ethan, Mhy's son, were confirmed. He was diagnosed with Autism. We noticed the signs early on - Ethan not making any eye contact, him not reacting whenever we call his name, Ethan not interacting with anybody besides himself and his toys, making grunting noises instead of talking, and Ethan banging his head on the wall or on floor whenever he gets frustrated. It is heartbreaking but definitely not hopeless.

Mhy and her husband, Bong, are maintaining a positive attitude. Ethan is still Ethan, though a little delayed in development, his mental age is assessed to be that of a 9 month old instead of at his actual age of 22 months. According to his pedia, it is good that he was diagnosed sooner than later. Early interventions were already planned out - regular occupational and speech therapy - until his 2nd assessment on March of next year. Necessary adjustments were made by Mhy and Bong, even if that meant leaving her husband and son here in the Philippines so Ethan can undergo therapy and Mhy going back to Singapore by herself to work.

I was saddened and was a bit ashamed when we went to their house yesterday to see Mhy off as she heads back to Singapore. Ashamed, yes, because when our two boys were together, one can see the difference in both kids' behavior. Johan was actively dancing and laughing while watching TV compared to Ethan who was quietly sitting down turning a toy car in his hands, unmindful of the chaos that my son was making. For the first time in my life, I was not proud of how many building blocks my son can put up or how many words he can already say - because Ethan, though they're of the same age, can say nothing yet.

Regardless of the diagnosis, Ethan is still the boy that my best friend gave birth to, whom they love with all their hearts. Who am I to think that he is anything less? I am pretty sure everything will be okay. With the love and support of his parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and everybody else around him, including me and my family, Ethan will be okay. Autism will never be a hindrance to him, we will make sure it will not be and instead, it will open doors to big possibilities for him. Besides, as Mhy put it, "Ethan is still Ethan", and we love him.

We all do.

What is Love?

It is that first glance of happiness …

 It is early morning stares and one huge smile waking you up at the crack of dawn…

 It is the soft sounds of gentle sleep…

 It is the sweet smile of recognition…

 It is the first signs of accomplishment and pride…

And the feeling of completeness and contentment.

I am in love. Are you?

Our Love Story is Featured in A Match Made In Heaven

I’m so kilig as of the moment and I feel like we’re celebrities. Hehe. Thanks so much, Sis Mei for featuring our love story.


Please click on the image to view our story.

One Year After

On this day at 10 in the morning, we were standing before an altar committing ourselves to honor, respect and love each other for as long we live. We celebrated this commitment with our families and friends and they have been witnesses to our love for each other.

Now, one year after, not so much have changed. We are still overflowing with love for each other as we have been this same day one year ago. A love that is now extended and multiplied a hundred times over for this Little One we are now expecting. 

I know that our lives will change soon but I am praying that we continue loving each other as much we do today. 

I love you more each day and I promise to continue honoring you, respecting you and loving you for as long as I live.

Thank you

To my dear husband for keeping up with my mood swings and food cravings,

- thanks for getting up at 2 in the morning to buy me porksilog to satisfy my hunger

- thanks for these five days that I'm on bed rest, for always bringing me pasalubong (cheeseburger, chicken sandwich or spaghetti) every time you went home from work

- thanks for always urging me to eat something even if my tummy cannot take anything (solid or liquid), "it's for you and the baby", you say

- thanks for reminding me to take my medications on time (for stopping what you're doing to cheer me on, "kaya mo yan", when I'm gagging on those tablets)

- thanks for giving in to my food cravings (Carbonara lately) and for getting up even if you're too sleepy to accompany me to Greenwich for the Carbonara (even finishing up the rest of the dish when I can't already)

- thanks for hugging me and kissing me when I can't stop myself from crying the day we found out I had threatened abortion

- thanks for always hugging me as we lay down at night... and for holding my hand while your other hand rests on my tummy as we drift off to sleep.

Being pregnant makes one super emotional and extra sensitive. Thanks for keeping up with every change that I'm experiencing. You are one great husband and I know you will turn out to be one great dad as well. I love you.

Simple Pleasures

Movie dates are what my hubby and I enjoy the most, we usually watch the first viewing sched just as the mall opens so there won't be a lot of people in the cinemas.

This morning Deck and I went out to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. This date was long overdue, had to be postponed because I got sick the week that it was first shown. He probably noticed that I've been moping around the house for more than three weeks and I was getting pretty irritated by boredom so he treated me out today. We didn't, however, had the time to have our usual "eat-out" after the movie because he's on the night shift tonight, so we only brought in food and ate inside the cinema. We shared a tub of BBQ fries and a hotdog sandwich, I bought him a Mudslide Smoothie from Ice Monster and I had my ever-favorite Mango-Banana Fruitas Shake. Yum... The simple pleasure of movie dates, my loving husband and comfort food. 

I feel a lot better now.