Johan's First Quarter Exam Results

I've been sleepless for days leading up to Johan's exams week because I have been preparing reviewers for him. Since Nursery, we have been struggling with his Filipino lessons and now that he is in First Grade, we are having difficulty not just with one Filipino subject but with three subjects - Filipino, Araling Panlipunan and Mother Tongue.

Imagine how stressful it was to think of techniques on how to improve his Filipino vocabulary, on how I will make him understand what pangngalan, katinig, patinig, pangungusap mean. I never thought we would struggle this much in school.

We spent three days studying for his nine subjects and concentrated on the three he is having the most difficulty with. Math has always been his strongest one, English is quite easy, Science is average while the new ones like Values Formation, Computer and MAPEH were fairly easy to review. We mainly spent more time with the Filipino ones.

I thought he's ready to take the exams and I was hoping he'd get good grades. The results came out today and it came as no surprise that he did very well in Math, the rest of the subjects got good grades but the three Filipino subjects just showed how much Johan needs more guidance. 

After all those sleepless nights and hours we spent reviewing, his grades are below my expectations. He did not get failing grades but I know that he can do better. I don't want to pressure him too much about getting very high grades but I don't want him to get low grades either. We tried so hard studying his lessons but I guess, we need to do more next time. Right now,  I am frustrated, tired and dispirited. 

I am being too hard on myself as usual. It's a relief that I have a bestfriend who I can talk to anytime and air out my grievances without judging how being unreasonable I am.

Kahit madalas luka-luka tong babaeng to, may sense naman sya paminsan-minsan

First quarter exams may be over but we still have three more quarters left. We will try harder on the coming months and we will not give up until MATATAS NG MANAGALOG SI JOHAN. 

Kita Kita: Unexpectedly Good (A Movie Review)

credits: Kita Kita

The movie is now on its third week and it is only today that I got to see it together with my sister. All the people I know who have seen Kita Kita have nothing negative to comment, they are all praises for the movie and the actors. I'm so glad that we chose to watch it in the movie house instead of watching online through the link that trended the other day. I paid a measly 181 pesos for my movie ticket and I tell you, I would have gladly paid more than that for Kita Kita. It is that good and here are some reasons why I am gushing about Lea and Tonyo: *some spoilers included so if you haven't watched the movie yet, stop reading now*

• Alessandra is phenomenal. The first time that I watched her was in Azucena, way back in college when we needed to watch it for movie review. Even then, I saw her potential, she is a great actress at her early age. Ang galing lang ng mga mata nya. Here in Kita Kita, the scene where her fiance stood her up for their anniversary and she took a photo by herself in a photo booth, ramdam mo sa mga mata nya na may pinagdadaanan sya. 

• Empoy was surprisingly great. I only saw this guy in a few TV appearances, I find his jokes okay but not enough for me to pay for a movie. In all honesty, he is the reason why I was hesitant to watch Kita Kita. I don't know the guy, his kind of humor is just normal for me, nothing fancy. But, gosh, that normal, nothing fancy thing is why this movie is earning a lot to this day. Empoy is so natural that I would like to believe some scenes where Alessandra is laughing is not acting anymore, I believe she is laughing in real life because Empoy is unmistakably funny. Sobra, first scene pa lang na pinakita sya tumatawa na kami. I'm glad to be proven wrong on how I see this guy. Ang laki ng ikinagwapo nya sa movie na to!

• The script, I have no words. Not the typical, commercialized Rom-Com that I was used to watching - I love Popoy and Basha, Laida and Miggy - but Lea and Tonyo's story is a different genre. Kalmado the entire movie, walang rollercoaster of intense emotions. I felt warmth the entire time that we were watching it. Gusto kong mag slow clap for Kita Kita director and screenwriter Sigrid Bernardo. \

• The setting. Sapporo, Japan is never heard of, at least for me. The movie depicted the town as a peaceful, laid back place. I liked that the movie did not use a setting that is too well known. Sapporo is just perfect for the flow of the movie - tahimik, malalim. 

• The twists and turns of the story is clever. Nung nagback track na how Tonyo met Lea, ang warm talaga sa pakiramdam. May lungkot but not naman to the point na hahagulgol ka, lungkot na tipong reminiscing lang of the good old times ang pakiramdam ko and panghihinayang. I said before no rollercoaster of intense emotions, hindi sobrang lungkot hindi sobrang saya. Tama lang talaga ang timpla.

•  I've heard reviews saying the movie's ending is not that good. It was unexpected yes, kasi ang una kong naisip "Ay, tapos na? Yun na yun?". Very abrupt kasi nag black screen bigla but it was okay for me. Lea lost Tonyo, she looked back at all their good times, cried for her loss, the end. There's nothing much to say after that and ayoko naman na like most Rom-Com's pahahabain pa ang istorya for the sake of humaba lang. 

• The song Two Less Lonely People in the World. I am not a fan of cheesy lovesongs. Highschool pa ata ako nung huli kong nagustuhan yung mga ganyan but KZ Tandingan's version of the song added a different flavor. Ang ganda ng areglo, ang ganda ng boses nya. It was on repeat on my Spotify on my way home from watching the movie and now as I am writing this post. Listen here: Two Less Lonely People in the World by KZ Tandingan

•  Alessandra and Empoy together. What an unlikely pair. They are the perfect unfits. I did not expect the two of them to have chemistry - ang ganda ni Alessandra, ang simple ni Empoy, ang lalim ng acting ni Alex, very comical si Empoy. One balances the other and their tandem is one reason why this movie is a success. 

I only have great things to say about the movie, I cannot think of a single thing na hindi ko nagustuhan. Their gross earnings of 230M on their second week is proof enough that this movie is not your ordinary Pinoy rom-com. I hope more people will watch it and pay for it instead of just watching through the pirated ones uploaded online. Give credit where credit is due and Kita Kita is worth the credit. Let's pay for movies like these so that more producers will invest on quality Filipino movies. 

Go watch Kita Kita, hindi ka magsisi, promise!

The Struggle to be a Good Mom

Breath.

Don't shout.

1,2,3,4,5....


I failed. I shouted again at my two kids aged 6 and 2 years old. This happened one evening this week when I just arrived home from work and upon checking my 6 year old's school diary, I found out that I still need to prepare for project materials that are needed the next day. And to think that I just did the same thing for 3 other subjects the previous night. I had to cram - turn on the laptop, do some research, print, gather the materials - all of that while the 2 year old is crying and the older one is being his usual rowdy self running around the house teasing his little brother.

The long list of school project materials of my first grader

I've had it. It has been a stressful week with both kids being sick, me with very little sleep and school assignments and projects piling up. That particular night, I was tired and hungry and wet from the rain. So, I lost it. My meltdown was so bad, I was screaming for at least five minutes at my two sick boys, begging them to shut up.

I was a bad mom at that moment. There was no doubt about it and nothing, not even my lack of sleep, is reason enough for me to behave that way.

I'm struggling to apply positive parenting but fails each and every time. I can't do it. The pressure at work, the clingy youngest kid and the loud eldest kid gets to my nerves and I shout. I was never a yeller. My husband even noticed this, he told one time "You were very patient when we first met but since the kids arrive, you became short-tempered and you get mad easily."

What happened?

Work, traffic, house chores, yaya problems, demanding first grade school stuff, active toddler. Those are what happened and the reasons why I am such a lousy mom these past few days.

I have to remind myself that the kids are watching, whatever I say and do will be mimicked by two boys, they might think my behavior is normal. I have to be mindful of my actions and how it will affect my kids.

Also, I should never forget that all of these are temporary anyway. The kids will grow up and soon I will be left with a clean house, no more assignments to help with, no more loud kids to shush.

I've got a long way to go but for now, I'll just take this one day at a time, let these kids be kids, take a deep breath and be grateful that I survived yet another day.